so.. thanks to the many people who are telling me not to stress out about the s thing.. i don't know what the fuck my problem is. like, i told him today that we were done. i called him about 45 min ago to tell him it was an awesome episode of cheaters, and he was with some girl named melissa on his way to canada.

"i'm simple.. i like to go to work, come home, and play my game."

so.. when i wanted to go out, he had no money, or he wanted to sit in front of his god damned computer like a loser and not hang out with me, or make me sit there until he was done so we could have sex and go to sleep. but as soon as i'm out of the picture, what's he doing? getting fucked up in canada, even tho he has to leave for work at 7, otherwise he bitches about how his day is ruined. he's probably going to kiss her, he probably already has. he's going on a date on friday with some other girl named kristen. he's going to take them, and whoever else he pleases, back to what used to be our apartment, to fuck them in what used to be our bed, and he's probably going to tell them all the same bullshit that he told me.

"i've never hurt you.. i never meant to hurt you."

that's what he said on the phone, to which i responded, "yes you did! and the only reason you're saying that right now is because you probably want to fuck that girl you're with" and don't want her thinking youre an asshole. as soon as he got off the phone with me he was probably telling her all about how i'm this "psycho ex-girlfriend" who's fucked up in the head and played lots of "games" with him. classic. making me look like the asshole.

i'm never going to speak to him again, and i'm deleting him from my friends list on myspace. i thought he would at least be more considerate and not hook up with anyone.. hm.. i don't know.. NOT in the same god damned day we decide to not see eachother anymore.

am i really that valueless? that worthless? can i just be replaced that easily?

apparently so. that's fucking wonderful.

i know it's going to take me a little while to get over him, but that will be easier if i just don't talk to him ever again. as soon as i'm done being pissed off about this, i'll be fine. i'll be able to date. although it's not like it matters anyway, few ever have more-than-friendship interest in me unless they're fucked up or on a rebound.